the adapter industry

USB cum shot

depleting key ring

green tea gatorade

bird feather eyebrows

virus apology emails

sparkler teepee

pan flute soccer whistle

champagne related injuries

homemade Sprite

glam rock PJs

misguided meditation

rolling pin with ball bearings

yahoo! mysteries

all descriptions of the taste of tuna available on public records and on internet postings, cataloged in advance of its extinction

dorsal fin tombstone

bourgeois caveman

Time lapse cut-offs.

Fat people looking at clothes

Joel Holmberg: thinking about the nastiest shit ever less than 10 seconds ago

2 collaborators sitting across from each other wearing mirrors across their chests so they can see the other's screen.

dotcom startup that maintains online presence of deceased loved ones

Platonic couple sharing umbrella

Platonic couple sharing umbrella

Zappos employees expressing discontentment

Warm bus seat

Failed vasectomy

funerals on upcoming.yahoo.com

double mouse pad asphalt burger

recordings of people patting their pockets looking for their keys

people bumping into you while you are playing pinball

Internet community service

Walter De Maria’s Earth Room > new york craigslist > office & commercial

a firefox plug-in that creates a running list of your google searches

Alarm clocks on both sides of a bed

Glass watercooler cone cups

coffee based soup!

good point forum

techno version of Neil Young "Heart of Gold" sung by female vocalist.

homemade sandpaper

Audio loops on Berlin techno club websites

running up an equally fast escalator

a sliver of a venn diagram

Artist's assistants making work for themsleves.

new topology

flash memory should just be stored in peripheral cable

searching for something materializing an image accessing an image information access my thoughts accessing my thoughts memory

the energy that I put into this is such that no one can do it as well as myself.

ACCESS

what does it prove when certain searches lead only to one result?

the perfect search

semi-solid / simi-solid

A RACE: SPEED & BREED

Stockhausen Syndrome

robert smithson's hotel palenque on Flickr

Native American euphimisms

Phil Spector made musicians play for 3 hours before recording. Neil Young would start the tapes rolling before he walked in the door.

GYM LIBRARY

Back-lit marble

Sound of guitar inside case hitting floor

net losers

masochistic office furniture

Picabia on 3-d warehouse

everyone tells me that there are a lot of cruising spots in my neighborhood, makes me think that everything is code for blowjobs

steps : flight of stairs

new topographics cont.

German computing: QWERTZ instead of QWERTY, and always having to differentiate between hypertext and directions.

white-face avatar

A word for something that doesn't need to be searched

writing is like using text edit

if the world were a thermogram then the fridge would be a very dark place, and freezer would be even darker.

oscillating fan inside gyroscope ride

whey hot chocolate would be really funny.

galerie small business

sodom and gomorrah was probably freaky as shit

a storefront space where u can enter but have to get buzzed out

after i leave LA take out bus stop ads that say "long gone"

pneumatic tube loop

pneumatic tube system in a small office

cut plywood into 8 x 10 scan plywood, arrange with computer displaying composite image of wood scans

sea doo in the dead sea . . . dead sea doo

Photo of construction materials lit to resemble under construction gifs

Heliotropic magnifying glass

Burning through styrofoam with high powered magnifying glass.

combine objects into groups

an antfarm inside of double-pane prefabricated window.

Incorporate a small business just to drive it into bankruptcy.

A performance to generate anonymous telephone numbers by placing skype phone calls.

suspend wood track from ceiling, place roomba (cleaning robot) on track.. cover wood in carpet?

vacuum robots and motion sensitive lights

Ferengi biting their ear

cellphone user biting ear

laptop user chasing their cord / dog chasing tail

people should have mini blacklights handy so that they can check their outfits for stains before going out to the club... 

interview airline Human Resources manager and if they have every used "secure your mask before helping others" as a metaphor for employee relationships

i am milk glass

i went to this restaurant in Biloxi, MS and there was a framed sign on a mantle with a line that said "hurricane Katrina waterline - Aug 29?, 2005". It was so convenient that the waterline just happened to be on the same level as a traditional family photo placed on a mantle.

what are those wetland grasses called that look like corndogs?

i'd like to see Jurassic park IV, but itd only be cool if it was a short film. like 15 minute cause in this version all the main characters gets eaten by dinos before anything really happens.

first thing im gonna do when i meet george clooney is talk about our shared love of nespresso

whenever u see someone stopped at an intersection or not going fast enough you should ask yourself "what do they know that i dont" before you get angry

going to photoshop a cinnamon raisin to look like a plain bagel, maybe whole wheat is more feasible

i can think of two ways to make a sculpture with plaster and a bagel. The first would be to fill the hole with plaster, and the second is to cut the bagel in half ans spread plaster as if it were cream cheese.

"photography happens in a flash" Tshirts

i could think of at least 5 sculptures/ installations involving transition lenses

clipping my toenails i noticed that my toilet came with a 5 year warranty. Its probably out of warranty by now and im hoping it will last at least until our lease ends up.

SMELL CHAMBERS!!!

checking my email jamaican shower makes the day seem real

cholos with face tattoos are so hardcore it gives me goosebumps

venice blvd. where abject poverty meets a california lifestyle

how many admin bots can u get on a single flickr picture?

most pregnancy tests take like 3 minutes and thats the average length of a song

im gonna have a new performance routine where i take pregnancy tests then workout on a yoga ball while i wait for the results. Then I'll freak out and look at the lines then look at the box then count the lines, look at the box again, freak out and try a different one, ept, first response, etc.

sucks having to explain yourself

it would be weird to randomly ask strangers to download ringtones for you, sorta like how people ask strangers to take group photos

trust the form

in bluechip galleries, marbles are placed behind paintings as booby-traps so if anyone tries to take the painting off of the wall . . . marbles fall everywhere.

a good photo essay of los angeles would be to take pictures of donut shops that used to be winchells

i should contact nespresso and see if anyone has tried to install a nespresso machine in their car yet.

a bright light on a programed timer, transition lenses.

lottery scratcher poker is the worst and makes no sense in the scratcher form.

white people often manically tap crosswalk signal buttons

i feel like you havent made it until u have had a close-friend or relative taken hostage in south america

the internet is a liminal space and I'm standing by myself at the pretzel stand.

and then I almost forgot my flip-flops

in the end im glad I went back to take a few more hits before i left, otherwise i would have forgotten to put my lock in my gym bag.

want to make a twitter account called conwaytwits that twits conway twitty lyrics http://twitter.com/conway

want to make a band called Conway Twitter that sings peoples twitters.

The thought of taking a baby into a dark, open space is really disturbing and scary.

I want to make a Michael Moore style documentary about web hosting and domain services registering domains right after you check to see if they are available.

I think that if I was an animal who needed a defense mechanism from my predators my thing would be to breath heavily in my helmet and fog up my face shield.

First post of new blog called some asshole: "I cut in front of someone and my bike's engine died and they almost ran me over."

In the 80s there was this show called "The Dirty Dozen" about a bunch (12?) American soldiers who where POWs together. Each has their own specialized skill. In one episode they rescue someone from prison. They took a photo of the cell wall and made a to-scale print, installed it in the space and dug a hole behind the print. After a successful escape the guards are baffled until they realize the facade had been duplicated. Finding this episode would make a nice video projection.

you know how in movies depicting boot camps they always have a scene of all of the soldiers doing push-ups in the rain. The drill sergeant is making them fatigued and they collapse in the mud. This would be awesome if it was done using exercise balls.